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Day 54

Happy Mother’s Day! Today is May 10.

I don’t think there are enough words to describe how incredible my mom is. Of all the women I know, she is one of the strongest, smartest and most resilient. I am so grateful I can call her mom, and I hope to make her proud with how I live my life. I know children idolize their parents, but in my case I’ve gotten to work with and learn from her first-hand through journalism. She has gifted me so many wonderful skills and character traits in the short span of my life, and I am eternally thankful to have her in my life.

To celebrate Mother’s Day, my dad cooked a big family breakfast this morning. We had blueberry pancakes with butter and syrup, fresh fruit and bacon. It was delicious. When it comes to waking up, the four of us are all on different schedules, so we don’t do as many shared breakfasts as I’d like. When we do, though, I love having the time to spend with my parents and brother in the morning before we head our own ways during the day.

For breakfast this morning, my dad cooked up some blueberry pancakes, fried bacon and cut up fresh fruit. Photo by Bailey Stover.

With only a day and a half left until I have to take my first Advanced Placement (AP) exam of the year, I made sure to devote time to studying today. I wish I could take any of my other tests first, but unfortunately my kick-off to the season is AP Calculus AB. I know I haven’t studied nearly as long or hard enough for the test as I should have, which I take responsibility for; however, not being in school for nearly eight weeks prior to testing hasn’t been encouraging, motivating or in any way conducive to learning. 

I’d like to see myself as an internally motivated student, but if I’m being totally honest, I rely strongly on grades, exam scores and outside approval to reinforce my drive to work hard. My procrastination is catching up to me now, as much as I’d like to avoid the consequences. I spent my afternoon reviewing all my notes from the course as well as watching a 50-minute review video that followed the actual test’s format. 

In addition to my anxiety about not comprehending or being able to apply the content knowledge I’ll need on the exam, I am also worried about encountering issues when submitting. Even more frustrating for me than not testing well would be if I did my best and then couldn’t get a score because of a technological malfunction. I’m starting to miss the idea of waking up early to drive to The Crossing to sit in a bland room surrounded by my peers to take an exhausting AP test. I think I’d rather suffer through all that than try to figure out how to put myself in the right testing mindset in the familiar surroundings of my kitchen table.

“We are born of love; love is our mother.”

Rumi, 13th century Persian poet

All fear and panic aside, I did my best to make today as good as it could be for my mom in these strange conditions. I listened to her talk, spent time with her and did any of the chores she asked me to do without complaint. For dinner, my dad wanted to treat her, so we ordered out from The Heidelberg. Even though there was a mix-up with our order, I think she enjoyed the meal. When I grow up, I want to be the type of person she is. I hope she knows how much my brother and I love and adore her. She really is my hero, and every day she inspires me to be a better, braver, brighter person. 

“We are born of love; love is our mother.” ― Rumi, 13th century Persian poet

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